Making Workplaces More Trans Inclusive (Part One)

New episode of A Queer Was Here published!

Today’s episode is the first part of a guide on making workplaces more trans-inclusive. It discusses trans healthcare, bathroom policies, dress codes, educational modules, and “do” and “don’t”s for questions you might want to ask trans folks. Part Two will be released July 1, 2017.

Find my site and contact me here.

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Personal Statement on Yesterday’s Invocation and a Link to More Information

I felt honored to have Arizona State Rep. Athena Salman read an invocation I wrote at the Arizona State Capitol yesterday, April 18, 2017. I did not expect the outsized reaction something so innocuous received, and I am grateful to her for her defense of it, and to the other legislators who stood by her.

This post by the Friendly Atheist outlines what happened. It includes footage of the invocation and its reception, and the text of the invocation read.

Understanding Dysphoria

New episode of A Queer Was Here published!

“Understanding Dysphoria” discusses dysphoria through a story, a poem, and a link, with the goal of making the feeling more understandable to those who do not experience it themselves.

Link: Amy Dentata’s article on dysphoria

Link: WPATH Standards of Care, V7 (PDF)

Link: Buzzfeed article about dealing with dysphoria

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Eight Things Coming Out Has Taught Me (Part Two)

New episode of A Queer Was Here published!

As a polyamorous grayromantic pansexual genderqueer gentleman with a large social circle, I’ve come out of more closets than most. As a public speaker and trans educator, many of those coming-out experiences have been on a stage. Whether I’m coming out to a crowd of strangers or one-on-one with a person I’ve known my whole life, though, every “coming out” has taught me something.

This episode I discuss number five through eight of the most important lessons I’ve learned from coming out.

To find out more about me and the other things I do, go here.

Retreat to the Shower

There is something about showers that is soothing,

like: I can’t sleep through the violence of the memories
(retreat to the shower)

like: The world is a cold place and I just need a little warmth
(retreat to the shower)

like: I can’t remember why I’m alive but I’m afraid to sleep
(retreat to the shower)

like: I’m so tired of dying every night in my dreams
(retreat to the shower)

And the showerhead is a sun
amidst the clouds of steam;
but it casts the kind of light
that allows you, at last

to find rest
from the shards of your past.

Writing Tips: Senses

When we think of senses, we usually just think of the basic five:

Sight
Touch
Taste
Smell
Hearing

There are more, though (and ESP is not the sixth). Others include:

Pain
Self-explanatory.

Pleasure
Pain and pleasure are not mutually exclusive.

Equilibrium
Equilibrium is the sense of balance. Is the character standing on a moving train/ground that is rippling from earthquake tremors? Or are they balanced on stable ground?

Mental State
Is the character stable or unstable mentally? Do they act logically? Do they feel empathy? Do their emotions whip from one extreme to another without equally extreme triggers?

Mental Location in Time
Is the character focused on the present or so caught up in thoughts of the future or memories/flashbacks of the past that they lose touch with the world around them? Especially important to consider with characters struggling with PTSD.

Bodily Sensations
Full bladder, racing heart, etc.

Emotional State
Is the character angry? Sad? Amused? All of the above? How strong are the emotions?

Temperature
Is the character hot or cold? How about the things they are touching?

Including more senses in writing allows the reader to visualize and engage more completely with the story. However, it is possible to overdo when writing a book, or to choose elaborate words when simpler ones will serve just as well. Resist the urge, unless the character would normally describe things in an over-the-top way.

Eight Things Coming Out Has Taught Me (Part One)

New episode of A Queer Was Here published!

As a polyamorous grayromantic pansexual genderqueer gentleman with a large social circle, I’ve come out of more closets than most. As a public speaker and trans educator, many of those coming-out experiences have been on a stage. Whether I’m coming out to a crowd of strangers or one-on-one with a person I’ve known my whole life, though, every “coming out” has taught me something.

This episode I discuss four of the eight most important lessons I’ve learned from coming out. Part Two will be released January 15.

To find out more about me and the other things I do, go here.

Prisoner and Pride

This is a picture of me,
the rainbow on a chain around my neck
both prisoner and pride.

This body is mine.
Mine to own and care for, but
the strange curves of hips and chest,
the thickness of the thighs,
the high waist, the voice,
unabashedly feminine,
unflinching in the mirror:

Those do not belong to me,
photo or not,
flesh or not.

I am all rough edges and stubble,
gritty passion and flame.
But I’ve watched my demons come and go,
addressing me by name.

Still, I stand male,
though of all my friendships,
fear is the most familiar.

The light that formed this photograph
can just as easily devour it, and I
am caught somewhere in the middle
of fighting for myself,
and fighting to make the world safe for myself

and others like me.

Types of Polyamory

New episode of A Queer Was Here published!

“Types of Polyamory” discusses the meaning of polyamory, busts the “no jealousy” myth, and discusses eight common types of polyamory.

Find the articles mentioned in the episode below:

The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy

Relationship Anarchy Takes the Judgement Out of Love

Find the books mentioned in the episode below:

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships