Some of the people I’m closest with are much younger, and a few were minors when we first met. They are some of the most dynamic, fantastic, vibrant, and talented people I’ve ever been fortunate enough to have in my life.

However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a power differential between adults and minors. Full stop. And that is something I have at the back of my head all the time when interacting with folks who are under eighteen. Not because folks under eighteen can’t be mature, responsible, and oftentimes better humans than people older than me, but because they are facing challenges and experiences very different from the kind I face as someone older, and do so as someone lacking societal agency, and systematically disempowered legally.

They also often face experiences for the first time I’m old hat at. Their fresh perspective can result in novel and fantastic solutions, but as someone with more experience in xyz situation, it’s my job to share things I’ve learned about a situation so the other person can step into a situation aware. They’re still welcome to heed or not heed my advice. I am not an all-powerful god who must be obeyed. But just like any time there’s someone new on a team at work, it’s the responsibility of existing members to give them the lay of the land in a respectful and considerate way.

Younger folks should be respected. They should be given agency. They should be treated with the same thoughtfulness and consideration as an adult, but adults should also keep that power differential in mind in their interactions, and recognize the responsibility and gift of the trust of someone much younger. Honor people, honor their perspectives and agency, but recognize power differentials and act in a way that honors that difference.

Just like the power differential between a boss and an employee must be considered in interactions, the power differential between an adult and a minor must be considered. That doesn’t mean don’t interact with each other. You both can gain a lot of perspective and growth from interactions. But it does mean interacting thoughtfully and recognizing power inbalances, just as you should with any other human being.

I also recognize that this view is somewhat ethnocentric. For one, the arbitrary choice of 18 for adulthood is not the case in every society, and the responsibility of different age groups vary greatly both country to country and family to family.

Recognize power differentials, but also recognize the personhood of every individual.